Parenting skills (or a lack of) can influence a child’s behaviour, but know that it can also be a result of his natural temperament, says DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
Parenting skills (or a lack of) can influence a child’s behaviour, but know that it can also be a result of his natural temperament, says DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
It’s tempting to “blame the parents” whenever you see a child misbehaving. But often, it’s not that simple. Even children who experienced the same parenting style might turn out differently. That’s because every kid has a unique natural temperament.
Your child’s temperament, according to psychologists, is made up of five main components:
• Activity level His pace and vigour may be quick and energetic, or relaxed and sluggish, content to respond at his own steady pace.
• Irritability Some children cope with everyday experiences without becoming rattled or upset, while others are easily irritated when things don’t go their way.
• Soothability This refers to the ease at which Junior calms down after he is upset, and it varies greatly from child to child.
• Fearfulness Stimulation can make your young one feel excited, but also cause him to become fearful.
• Sociability A sociable child’s engaging manner is much more inviting than the withdrawn behaviour of a shy one. These traits combine in various ways to form one of the following temperament profiles:
• Easy The easy (or easygoing) child is a pleasure to be with because he is very even-tempered and generally responds positively to anything that happens to or around him. He adapts quickly to new experiences, welcoming rather than avoiding them. His mood and behaviour are predictable.
• Difficult The difficult (or hard-to-manage) threeyear-old is very active mostly but can become grumpy. It doesn’t take much to unsettle him; his moods vary and his behaviour has no predictable pattern. He resists change and can take a long time to adapt to new situations or faces.
• Slow-to-warm-up The slow-to-warm up (or inactive) child has mild reactions and lacks enthusiasm for new experiences. If he doesn’t like a new toy, he simply turns away from it rather than physically reject it.
Your child’s natural temperament contributes in equal measure to his behaviour. Hence, it’s important you make every effort to influence his progress and development.
There will be moments when you succeed in changing his behavioural patterns or even turning his natural temperament to his advantage. There will also be moments when you feel as if you haven’t been able to do anything for him. That’s part of the exciting and never-ending challenge of parenting.
For now, stop judging the next parent you see struggling to manage her child’s behaviour.
It doesn’ t take much to unsettle the difficult threeyear-old; his moods vary and his behaviour has no predictable pattern.
ILLUSTRATION CHENG PUAY KOON
