You’re in the year-end slowdown when your spirits are high and your sex life is… a bit tired, actually. But with every holiday comes a chance to boost your relationship, as LEE XIN HUI reveals.
Photos Getty images
December is a month of revelry, and when you do pause for breath, it’s usually to sleep before the next party starts. But according to experts, this holiday season is also the perfect time to add a sprinkling of sparkle to your sexual repertoire. A survey* conducted by fertility-tracking app Kindara found that the weeks around Christmas and New Year are the most popular times for couples to get it on, thanks to the daily grind taking on a more relaxed pace. So, instead of snuggling on the sofa when the downtime arrives, we say you should slip between the sheets with your guy and concentrate on some, erm, up time (if you get our meaning). Instead of the usual quickies between working late and chores, find out what it takes to please each other in bed. Here are some savvy tips on keeping things steamy while you’ve got time, energy and the opportunity to reconnect. Put them into action now and get set for a sexier, soul-bonding and ceiling-shattering 2016.
Read between the lines
Don’t underestimate the power of words – when executed correctly, sexting reaps results big time. Take our advice and start to playfully test the waters – something along the lines of “You were so big last night… in appetite. Haha!”. Progress to a touch more naughtiness, such as “I love it when you [verb] my [body part]”. And if you’re really bold, send a picture showing just a glimpse of your sexy underwear – face shots are not recommended – that he’ll get to see exclusively in person later.
For die-hard romantics, prepare some flirty notes and leave them in places where you know he’ll find them, like in his gym bag or suit pocket. Get him going with: “You are the sexiest man in the world”, and “I can’t wait to see more of you tonight.” We guarantee he’ll be waaay worked up, even before he gets home.
Give and receive
We’re talking about taking turns to pleasure each other, but without going all the way. The key lies in keeping your eyes locked on his (and vice versa) the whole time while touching; not only is this a major turn-on, it also helps to maintain your connection. Two things that will definitely leave him wishing it was Christmas every day are letting him know what a good job he’s doing, and showing just how much you enjoy touching him too.
Kiss and tell
We’re not going to insult you with a Kissing 101. Instead, raise the bar a few notches by making it a “full-body kiss”, using your hands to hold his head, pressing your body against his and taking breaks to gaze deep into his eyes. And here’s a useful tip: Match the way he kisses you – if he goes in hard, deliver a passionate response. Try kissing for 10 minutes without stopping – it can be pretty amazing!
Strip it down
It’s easy to go “Oh, I can’t do it without laughing”, while putting on your oldest PJs, but you know what? Doing a striptease for your other half can be empowering. We recommend a glass of wine beforehand to ease inhibitions, mood music (see the list below), and wearing an outfit that accentuates your best bits. Take the lead by sitting your man down on a chair in the middle of your bedroom (or a room where there are few distractions and you can set the scene!) and let his anticipation build. As you move slowly around him, whisper in his ear that he’s not allowed to touch you. The key is to own the whole experience and go really sloooow. If you still feel shy, ask him to close his eyes (which will heighten all his other senses – you know what we’re referring to).
Do the rub
Not a masseuse? Neither are the rest of us. But if you’ve ever gone for a professional massage, this is pretty much the same thing – minus providing pain and the awkward use of elbows. Plus, you get free rein to touch your man everywhere. Go for it with a beautifully scented massage oil like vanilla, which will work as a relaxant and add some sensuousness. The most important thing to note: how his body reacts to your touch. If massaging one particular spot produces more of a reaction, continue with the stroke in the same place.
Make a position sex pact
So many moves, so little time! Instead of sticking to the same old missionary or doggy-style, aim to try one hot new position a week for a month. Simply treat it as couple bonding time as you come up with ideas together.
GET THE OOOOH FROM YOUR LUBE A little goes a long way when it comes to adding extra sparkle to your sex life.
Apply on foreplay hot spots. Spice things up by spreading lube on your breasts or less-obvious erogenous zones like your neck, then get him to gently tease, massage and fondle you.
Boost your O. Adding to your natural lubrication, a little extra help goes a long way to intensify action (read: more wetness = higher general arousal = RESULT!).
For a post-passion rubdown. Lube maintains your physical connection after the excitement has died down. And you never know, the prolonged sensations might just turn him on enough for another session…
70% of Singaporean women are not satisfied with their sex lives. Top three contributors to dissatisfaction:
1) Loss of interest
2) Inability to orgasm
3) Having a low libido
59% of Singaporean women believe that achieving sexual satisfaction is within their control.
67% of Singaporean women have masturbated.
A ccording to the 2015 Smile Makers Good Vibe survey of 800 women in Singapore.
THE NAUGHTY LIST Top five* songs to get it on to, according to Spotify Singapore
#1 Birthday Sex by Jeremih
#2 Body Party by Ciara
#3 Pony by Ginuwine
#4 Climax by Usher
#5 Retrograde by James Blake
*For Q4 2014/Q5 2015
Expert sources: Peder Wikstrom and Mattias Hulting, co-founders of Smile Makers.sg
EXPERT SOURCES: Martha Tara Lee, clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching; Sadie Allison, author of Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-on Guide to Penis Pleasing and founder of www.ticklekitty.com