Seems it’s not just Queen Bey who knows the madness of a booming heartbeat. Men also go gaga when they meet certain women, as Sasha Gonzales discovers.
Photo Jalag/steiner, Beny/seasons agency
That butterflies-inyour- belly feeling, the lack of appetite, the hours spent writing your name, with his surname, on a notepad – we all know the signs of feeling just that little bit in love.
And don’t be fooled into thinking that men don’t experience these emotions also. In fact, guys have been known to feel a crazy-big excitement upon meeting certain women, and there’s a scientific explanation for such behaviour: dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure centres. “When a man is in love, dopamine levels in his body surge, creating an intense desire to be with a particular female, and motivating him to take risks to win her heart,” explains Cindy Leong, dating coach at Relationship Studio and author of Suff ering or Conquering: Happy Marriages in Singapore. She adds: “It just makes them feel good, and when they feel good, they will do whatever it takes to make that feeling last”.
Unfortunately, this “good feeling” doesn’t last forever, and once a guy has won you over, the trulymadly- deeply chemicals causing such a heavy-duty passion only last for three to six months. So let’s celebrate this craziness while we can, yes?
“I gave up my beloved cat, whom I’d had for six years since he was a baby, because my girlfriend was allergic to him.
“I made my girlfriend my business partner after three months together, totally ignoring the advice my successful businessman father gave me: Never mix business with pleasure.” – Isaac Wong, 42, entrepreneur
“I was so into this girl at work that when she told me she was going to be taking part in a marathon the following month, I lied and told her I was too. I’d never run a marathon in my life and I didn’t even exercise! I signed up for the race, but didn’t train for it and was terrible on the day. I suff ered for weeks after, but she loved that I’d made the eff ort, so I was a winner in the end!” – Gary*, 34, teacher
“I was in my mid-20s and earning just under $2,000 a month. I spent almost an entire pay cheque on a designer bag for my thengirlfriend, even though I was struggling financially and saving up to take my parents on a nice holiday.” – Stephen Khoo, 35,F&B and hospitality executive
“My parents didn’t like my fiancee and threatened to leave me out of their will if I went ahead with the marriage. I told them they could do whatever they wanted, but I was going to follow my heart. I’m glad I did. Five years later we are married and have never been happier.” – Troy*, 36, managing editor
“I have a fear of flying, but five years ago, my new girlfriend got a place to study in the UK, so to celebrate our six-month anniversary, I mustered up the courage to make the 12-hour trip to see her. I flew for what felt like days, was constantly airsick, and when I arrived in London, I was a wreck. It was love, though!” – Fadly*, 38, business owner
“My girlfriend moved to Dubai for work. After three months, I missed her so much that I quit my high-paying job to be with her. What made the move especially insane was that I was up for a promotion that year and expecting a massive raise. That’s love, I guess.” – Don*, 35, freelance writer
“My wife bought me a hideous shirt and tie to wear for her sister’s wedding. I absolutely hated the shirt because it looked cheap, and the tie had this horrible sailboat print on it, but I wore them both anyway because she said I looked sexy!” – Jason Mak, 41, insurance agent
“I had a vasectomy for her.” – Michael*, 41, self-employed
“I gave up meat for my vegetarian girlfriend – and I loved my meat! She adored animals too much and there was no way I could continue dating her unless I changed my carnivorous ways.” – David Goh, 28, civil servant
“Six months before we got married, my wife told me that she wanted us to abstain from any physical intimacy, in a bid to build up the heat for our wedding night. I agreed, but the dry spell almost killed me!” – Chandra*, 31, sales manager
*Names have been changed