The Go-To Girl

Late-night texts and coffee catch-ups – yep, she’s the one you turn to when things are great, but also when times get tough. Since V-Day is about love, don’t forget to give it up for the Little Miss Sunshine of your squad, too...

Portrait of Tammy Strobel
Late-night texts and coffee catch-ups – yep, she’s the one you turn to when things are great, but also when times get tough. Since V-Day is about love, don’t forget to give it up for the Little Miss Sunshine of your squad, too...
Corbis/Click Photos
Corbis/Click Photos

What’s a go-to girl?

Basically, she’s the person whose phone is constantly pinging with messages from friends who have X update or Y drama to share with her. She’s the first person who gets called when times are good, like when someone’s boyfriend said “I love you” for the first time, or when someone else’s puppy finally got toilet trained. In many ways, she’s a “friendship mum” – because she’s the caregiver you go to whenever you need love, a meal and/or life advice. Break-ups. Passed over for a promotion. Family problems. Whatever the issue is, she’s the one people think of when they need a listening ear. However, as any go-to girl can attest, sometimes being the number-one pal on your friends’ speed dial can be hard. If a girl in your life ticks off three or more of these scenarios, it’s official: she’s the (awesome) pillar of strength in your group. Note: just make sure you give her the same kind of support that you get from her in return!


As the rock of the group, she kind of always knows what to say. You’re not sure how, since she by no means is professionally qualified to give advice (unless she has a psychology degree, and in that case she should really bill by the hour), but somehow, she always manages to shine her own brand of light on dark situations.

Like Oprah, she’s mastered the fine art of getting hard truths through your thick skull by telling you what you want to hear, with some hard-to-swallow but undeniably good advice subtly mixed in. And because she’s hella awesome, she’ll throw in a little YOLO on the side, too – just because she loves you.

Yup, after each “Why did I go back to him?” episode, it’s her supportive texts that leave you feeling uplifted. And though most of the time you’re just a stubborn mule, she’s the one person you listen to, because you know she’s always looking out for you, even when you’re “fine”.


Whenever you’re out together, she’s the person you turn to whenever there’s a need for tissues, plasters, tampons, sunscreen or an iPhone charger – her life-saving handbag would make Mary Poppins pretty damn impressed. Even random girls in nightclub toilets somehow know she’s the one to turn to for a quick spritz of perfume and a much-needed breath mint. Need a cab? She’s got Grab Taxi and Uber ready to go. Boom. Done.


From how to perfectly cut an avocado to the delicate skill of applying false lashes to knowing when everyone’s birthdays are, she knows all about the important things in life. Her unrivalled knowledge of random facts continues to blow your mind. In fact, pretty much every female empowerment anthem must have been written about her. “She’s a superwomaaaaan” – so make sure she knows you’re hella grateful for it.


When people can’t handle their drinks, she’s usually the one to ensure they get home safely in a cab. She holds their hair back when they’re throwing up, and on the rare occasion that she’s the drunkest at the party, that’s when all hell seems to breaks loose. Yup, birthdays are generally controlled chaos around her, but when it’s her big day, it’s a toss-up between grabbing the opportunity to launch Mission: Get Her Shit-faced, or freaking out about who else can handle the responsibility of making sure everyone’s hair stays vomit-free throughout the night.


From group hangs, to New Year’s Eve plans or even splitting the bill at the end of a meal, she’s the one people count on. If you’re booking a trip together, she’s scoured every TripAdvisor post and searched all the hashtags on Instagram. In a social situation, she knows how to seamlessly bring together co-workers, travel buddies and random friends into one group because organisation and making things work is her jam.


Whenever you’ve got a new man in your life, she’s the one he’s most nervous about meeting. Not your mum, not your creepily over-protective brother, but her. Because anyone who comes into your life knows she’s got your back in a major way, and if she’s not impressed by him, it’s just a matter of time before you’re not…


Being the strong one in the group is, at times, bloody exhausting. And even though she’s the queen of listening, researching, supporting, organising and caring, sometimes it’s all too much. On the rare occasion when she pulls the selfish card, it can feel like the world’s gone topsy-turvy and she’s pulled the rug out from under you. But, remember, even though she’s your rock, she’s also human. Thanks to her caring, nurturing nature, there’s a part of her that’s really sensitive and emotional too. Just be patient with her and soon enough, that big softie will go right back to being her usual cheerleader self.


She may sometimes complain about being everyone’s go-to girl, but at the end of the day, she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. You can tell by the way she cares enough to show up for you at the randomest events, or celebrate even the smallest achievements (like that time she took you out for drinks because your eye candy from The Vampire Diaries kicked it). She’s there for you when it counts, and even when it doesn’t. Which is why, if there’s one word to describe this girl, it’s “irreplaceable”.

More: group knows