After the kids come along, you and your spouse may have developed a comfortable way of life that suits you and your kids. But here are 10 things that you should not lose sight of or stop doing, DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON reminds.
After the kids come along, you and your spouse may have developed a comfortable way of life that suits you and your kids. But here are 10 things that you should not lose sight of or stop doing, DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON reminds.
"You don’t have to do everything together or go everywhere as a couple, but it is important to find something in common."
Fun The very thought of having to arrange a babysitter or getting the kids off to bed at a reasonable hour is enough to make you both decide to stay at home. But go out and have a date anyway, because you are a couple as well as parents.
Purpose It’s very easy to get so caught up in the daily hustle and bustle of family life, you forget why you rush about so much. Stand back and reflect on what you are trying to achieve as parents, about your values and aspirations. That reminds you of the goals you share with your spouse.
Intimacy Libido is always under threat when you are a parent – the sounds of a screaming child, the prospect of that unexpected knock at the door at the wrong moment, and the general tiredness from the everyday grind can turn intimacy with your spouse into a remote possibility. Maybe your kids can stay with Grandma this weekend.
Laughter You may find that life with children is no laughing matter because you spend so much time taking them here and there, rushing them to school and ensuring they do their homework. But you and your spouse should always try to find time to share a joke.
Support You and your spouse are doing well as parents and in the workplace, but you still need each other’s support. However, some days are better than others. Comfort from your caring husband might be all that’s needed to get over the emotional fall-out from a squabble with a colleague or a disagreement with your child.
Holidays You don’t have to spend a fortune travelling to a vacation on the other side of the world. A few days in a resort by the beach can be as enjoyable as a more expensive package holiday. Of course there are other things you can spend your hard-earned money on, but book that family holiday anyway.
Surprises Everybody loves a gift, especially when it is spontaneous and unexpected. A present when it is not his birthday or any other formal occasion says a lot about your love and regard for him. It is another way of demonstrating that you care.
Listen After years of marriage, couples tend to develop selective hearing – they go into automatic pretend-listening mode when their spouse interrupts their TV viewing with an account of an incident that happened earlier in the day. Good communication involves switching off all distractions and listening attentively.
Interests You’ll have your interests and your husband will have his – that’s perfectly normal. You don’t have to do everything together or go everywhere as a couple, but it is important to share some interests. Maybe you like to go out on walks together, or go to the movies together. Find something in common.
Respect When you spend a lot of time with somebody, you tend to take him for granted. That’s human nature and that’s always a mistake. It’s hard to respect someone when you have seen him vulnerable and struggling to cope. Yet, this continuous respect for each other and what you do will keep your relationship strong.
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