It’s the season for fancy sit-down dinners with family and friends. Here’s how to prepare your little one for these formal events.
It’s the season for fancy sit-down dinners with family and friends. Here’s how to prepare your little one for these formal events.
The best age for fine dining is when your child is at least six years old, says Clara Tan, founder of etiquette school Molly Manners Singapore. At this age, he would already be aware of his social environment and have a good understanding of how to behave in a formal setting. He would also know how to handle basic cutlery and be able to eat on his own.
Practice makes perfect
Show him what a formal table setting looks like, suggests Yvonne Anjelina, director and chief etiquette coach at The Etiquette School Singapore. Teach him how to use the different pieces of cutlery – for example, the round soup spoon is strictly for soup, and the butter knife must be used only to butter the rolls – and explain what the various plates, bowls and glasses are for.
“It’s also a good idea to have a practice run at home, a few weeks before the actual event,” says Yvonne. “Set your dining table accordingly and get Junior to practise handling the cutlery and dinnerware during his meals.”
Manners, please
Remind your child to be on his best behaviour during the dinner. According to Yvonne, this means being polite to the waiters, saying “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me”, not slouching, not raising his voice, not scoffing down his food, chewing with his mouth closed, not talking with his mouth full, covering his nose or mouth if he sneezes or coughs, and waiting until everyone’s been seated and served before eating.
Dealing with a restless child
“You can’t expect a young child to sit still for hours on end,” says Teo Ser Lee, founder and director of Protocol Academy, which provides training in the finer points of etiquette and protocol. “To prevent him from getting restless and edgy during the dinner, give him regular breaks during the evening and allow him to release some of that pent-up energy.
For instance, let him leave the room or play outside after the main course, but tell him that he has to be back in time for dessert.” Alternatively, Clara suggests seating your child next to another kid of the same age, so they both have someone to chat with during the meal.
Engage him without gadgets
To keep him focused without bringing out the iPad, Yvonne suggests keeping a conversation going. Ask him what he thinks of the venue, find out how he’s enjoying his food, and so on. “It’s important to make him feel important and included. It required a lot of patience on your part, but it’s worth it,” Yvonne adds.
