Your toddler isn’t always “terrible”; she can be empathetic, too. Here’s how you can raise a child who cares, says DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
Age by stage 2 years
True, your two-year-old is self-centred by nature and, most times, she thinks only of herself. Yet, she also has an innate ability to show empathy and be kind to others. For example, she intuitively wants to comfort you when she sees you’re sad, even though she doesn’t understand why you’re feeling that way or how she can help you. Here are seven ways to strengthen your young child’s sweet and sensitive side:
Demonstrate kindness
You can’t expect her to show kindness if you behave uncaringly in front of her. She imitates some of your behaviour, so make sure that you act in a way you want her to mimic. Let your child see you act compassionately towards others whenever possible.
Praise good acts
There will be times when she’s kind to her older brother – for instance, she picks up a toy that he dropped. When that happens, make a big fuss of her for being so sweet. Your positive reaction encourages such behaviour.
Get her a small pet
You don’t need to adopt a dog or a cat for your tot; just get a small goldfish. Sharing some of the responsibilities, such as feeding, teaches her how rewarding it is to be kind to others. Of course, you’ll need to supervise when it’s her turn to look after the pet, but let her know that she is in charge of feeding this time.
Explain the positive effect
Tell her: “When you helped me tidy your toys, I felt better” or “Your brother was happy when you smiled at him.” Statements like these help her understand the wider implications of her behaviour.
Encourage sharing
This is extremely hard for your kid because it involves a selfless act that has no obvious personal gain. Do your best to encourage her to share toys and sweets with her sibling, even if she protests at first. Sharing is a very clear demonstration of empathy.
You can’t expect your toddler to show kindness if you behave uncaringly in front of her. She imitates some of your behaviour.
Acknowledge empathy
Unlike sympathy (an emotion of concern for plight), empathy is the ability to experience the emotions of another person. Remember the time she gave you a big cuddle when she saw you were upset? That’s empathy, and it is the emotion that underpins most kind acts. Tell your toddler that you are pleased with her.
Verbalise your feelings
For example, when you feel sad about something, say to her: “I feel sad that this has happened.” That enables her to see the link between your facial expression and emotions, which is one of the building blocks of empathy. Her empathic understanding will steadily improve.
