How can you get your active toddler to behave at family gatherings? DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON suggests ways to burn off his energy.
Age by stage 1 year
Reining in your high-energy toddler, especially at festive gatherings at relatives’ homes, can be exhausting and embarrassing. He’s always running around and climbing on furniture; it’s impossible for him to sit still even for a moment.
Yet, it’s unrealistic for you to keep an eye on him all the time. You worry about how he will behave in front of your extended family. What you can try is to keep him active before the party. Arrange for some fun physical activities at home, such as walking, balancing and jumping, under your careful supervision.
Your toddler will enjoy all these much more when you suggest them. Or you could just take him to the park. Although these physical activities won’t use up all his energy for the day, they will help him be more settled later on. Make sure, though, that he has a break between those activities and the gathering, so he has time to calm down in-between.
You want him to be relaxed and comfortable when you arrive. Pack a bag of his favourite toys to take with you to the family occasion – but leave out any noisy ones – so he has plenty to keep himself busy. Include some drinks and snacks for him, just in case the food provided isn’t to his taste.
Take planned breaks with him even if he is settled. Don’t wait until he runs wildly all over the place, wreaking havoc.
DURING THE GATHERING
When you eventually arrive at the party, check if there are other young kids. Chances are, your hosts will have already set aside a room for them to play in, well away from the adults. That’s always helpful, and it will mean you don’t have to spend every second looking after him.
If there isn’t such an area, try to find a part of the living room that is less cluttered with furniture and ornaments, so your energetic tot has more space around him. He needs to be able to move around freely.
Get him involved in playing with the toys you’ve brought, preferably beside you. However, nobody realistically expects a young child to sit still for long. You shouldn’t feel stressed or awkward when he starts to run around. Anyway, you will probably find your relatives giving him lots of attention, which keeps him happy and engaged for longer than you anticipated.
It’s very helpful to go for planned breaks, as well. Take him away from the living room (for instance, to another room in the house) at regular intervals. This could be every 15 or 30 minutes. Don’t wait until he runs wildly all over the place, wreaking havoc.
Take these breaks with him even if he is settled. Offer him a drink or a snack, and tell him how pleased you are that he has behaved so well. He loves your positive comments.
Remember that you don’t have to stay till the end of the event – you can leave at any time that suits you. Your relatives will understand that you may prefer to head home when your tot starts to tire, even though the party is still in full swing.
