Even with the easing of Circuit Breaker rules, social distancing remains necessary to stem the spread of COVID-19.
To rein in the escalating COVID-19 transmissions, the Singapore government introduced a slew of Circuit Breaker measures meant to keep Singaporeans at home. Those who flouted the rules by gathering socially, for instance, were fined $300 on the first offence.
As necessary as these strict measures have been to contain the spread of Covid-19, they can lead to feelings of intense loneliness and isolation – humans are social creatures, after all. But there are strategies to help you weather the emotional storm of social distancing and it has to do with building up your resilience, so you can give your mind a break from the stressors of what’s happening in the world.
Fortunately, emotional resilience is a skill that anyone can learn and build on. In fact, practice makes perfect, says Dr Tim Sharp, founder and “chief happiness offer” of The Happiness Institute. “Unfortunately, most people are unprepared emotionally when a crisis hits,” he explains. “But I liken it to a fire drill – if you practise strategies to strengthen your resilience before anything goes wrong, you’re less likely to panic and more likely to make better decisions.”
How do I boost my resilience and catch a mental break?
Practise Realistic Optimism
Resilient people are better at keeping things in perspective. “It might sound obvious, but it’s not easy to do when you’re stressed out,” says Dr Sharp. “Less resilient people will often make mountains out of molehills, or curl up in a corner and think ‘This is terrible, it’s always going to be terrible’, which just makes things worse. Resilient people acknowledge that a situation is bad, but they’ll say things like ‘It’s not that bad’ or ‘this won’t last forever’. By remaining calm and objective, they’re able to cope better.”
Take Action
Taking responsibility for how you manage testing times is an empowering way to boost resilience. According to Dr Sharp, people who are emotionally strong don’t focus on their faults, limitations or weaknesses, nor do they excessively blame themselves when something goes wrong. “Instead, they ask themselves these important questions: ‘What can I do about it?’, ‘How can I change it?’ or ‘How can I make it better?’ They take affirmative action and that’s what resilience is – facing up to the cold, hard reality of a situation and dealing with it in a constructive way.”
Draw On Others
When you’re feeling embarrassed, ashamed or depressed about your predicament, having to ask for help can often feel like another burden to bear. Strong people don’t rely on others, right? They sort out their own problems, right? Wrong. “What we know about the most resilient people is not that they’re tough and independent,” says Dr Sharp, “but that they’re more about reaching out to a friend, partner, colleague or counsellor, and say, ‘I’m struggling and I need some help’. Resilient people recognise that they don’t have to do it all on their own.” Never underestimate the power of a support system, adds psychologist, author and anti-bullying expert Evelyn Field. “What would happen if your husband loses his job, you discover a lump in your breast and your mum has Alzheimer’s – how do you cope?” she says. “If you have a kind friend, a neighbour, a good doctor, an accountant or an understanding boss who says to you, ‘I can help with that’, ‘I can pick up the kids from school’, or ‘Don’t worry about cooking tonight – look after your mum’, then the world changes.”
Bank Happy Times
The timing of bad luck or bad news can also affect our resilience, so feeling satisfied with your lot can, on the whole, pay off when difficulties arise. “Research suggests that living a good life and being happy as much as possible helps get you through the tough times by giving you a database of positive experiences to draw on,” says Dr Sharp. “While it won’t stop bad things from happening, you’ll be in a better place to deal with them if they do.”
Be Extra Nice To Yourself
When your defences are down, treating yourself with even more care than usual is critical at this time. “Resilience is about acceptance, release and empowerment,” says Evelyn. “You need to accept the fact that something awful has happened to you, but that you can create opportunities to calm down, to cope or to release the anger, sadness and fear. These activities may be as simple as playing with a dog or eating a piece of chocolate. It’s about saying, ‘I’m going through a hard time, what will reduce and relieve my pain?’” Whatever it is, do it as often as you need. By doing so, you’re giving your soul the respite it needs to regroup and heal.
Sleep Tight
Nothing will diminish your ability to get back on your feet more than fatigue. “When we’re worrying about something, we often don’t sleep as well, and when we’re tired, we don’t cope as well,” Dr Sharp says. “Getting a good night’s sleep is even more crucial during tough times. Being well-rested allows you to make better decisions.” If your sleep patterns are seriously disturbed, see your doctor.
Find A Silver Lining
Believing that not only will you survive a trauma or loss, but emerge from it stronger and wiser, or in a position to help others through a similar experience, can help to foster a greater resilience. “Post-traumatic growth is an area psychologists have begun looking at closely over the years,” Dr Sharp says. “What the research has shown is that as bad as things may seem, if you ask people to look back on them, a year or five or 10 years later, a significant majority will refer to those events as being somehow beneficial. They will says things like, ‘It made me a better person’, ‘I matured’, or ‘I learnt from it’.” In the meantime, when life is knocking you about, it’s important to acknowledge the difficult road ahead. “Resilience is largely doing the best you can do under the circumstances,” says Dr Sharp, and that may just be surviving if you’re reeling from tragedy. “But what’s important is that you keep doing your best.”
How To Work Through A Difficult Time
Creative & Operations Manager, EtonHouse International Education Group
Home Baker
Founder, Be Kind SG
“This COVID-19 situation is exceptionally worrying, not just because of the difficulty in containing the virus but how it affects us emotionally and mentally. Human beings are social creatures and being able to connect – even through text messages – puts us in a better mood. I have maintained contact with the parents of my current wish children at Make-A-Wish Singapore to check in on their situations, and also send small gifts to them during this time. Throughout the circuit breaker period, I have also live-streamed some painting sessions using common household items to keep them entertained. Art is a good way to de-stress and stimulates our creativity, keeping us positive during these trying times. I have vasculitis, an autoimmune illness, which requires long-term medical treatment, and I have to take extra precautions during this COVID-19 outbreak to keep myself safe. In some ways, this reminds me of our wish children whose strength and resilience always amaze and inspire me to be a better person.”
