Everyone knows the basic erogenous zones. Her nipples. Check. Your Penis. Check.
But did you know that the body is basically one giant erogenous zone? There are thousands (literally thousands) of nerve endings all up and down the body, and knowing where and how to touch them can up your sex game to mind-blowing status. Yes, it’s super important to know how to touch her in the usual places, but when you start throwing a few of these curveballs into the mix, your partner won’t know what hit them.
We have all heard about the magical nipple orgasm…for women. But did you know they’re not the only ones getting in on the nipple action? Have you ever played with your own nipples, or with your partner’s? You might be more than pleasantly surprised.
“Nipple stimulation is uncomfortable for most heterosexual men due, in part, to the feelings of vulnerability and powerlessness it can bring up,” says Lawrence A. Siegel, clinical sexologist and certified sexuality educator. “This is an area of tremendous erotic pleasure and potential, yet is a part of the body too often avoided [on men] because it involves dropping resistance and letting go. Giving, surrendering to the touch, allowing oneself to be rather than do, can allow for the experience of even orgasmic pleasure than can be downright life-changing.”
Yes, feet are erogenous zones! And no, not in a foot fetish kind of way—although if that’s your thing, that’s cool, too. But right now we’re talking about pure science, which has everything to do with nerve endings.
“The nerves in the feet correspond to the homunculus in the brain, and the genitals are located next to the feet on this sensory strip in the brain. So a foot massage could be arousing if the time and partner are right,” says Dr. Stephanie Buehler, psychologist and certified sex therapist.
This goes beyond kissing. Connecting with your partner’s face adds an entirely new level of intimacy. Plus, the nerve endings along the lips and ears heighten the pleasure. The face is a great place to experiment with different types of touch, as well.
“Any man that’s ever had a beard knows how good it feels to scratch sometimes. I heard a guy say he just
‘liquified’ when his partner started rubbing his beard as part of caressing his face,” says Siegel. “Tracing around the jawline with your fingertips, undulating fingers across the forehead, lightly brushing your lips across the cheek can all produce a veritable symphony of erotic sensations.”
This area can often be overlooked during sex because it’s a ticklish spot. But be a little patient with it, and you’ll open a whole new door.
“A good lover pays attention to types of touch and her responses,” Siegel says. “If lightly running one’s fingers the length of her inner thighs brings a tickle response, for example, keep your hand still for a moment then proceed a bit more slowly and with a bit more pressure. The tickle spot just became an erogenous zone.”
The same can be true for the inner forearms and the backs of the thighs.
The neck is 360 degrees of nerve endings. Use them. Light kissing, caressing with lips or fingertips, nuzzling, etc. can be playfully erotic and pleasurable.
No, but like...the entire breast. Not just the nipple.
“It’s important for guys to remember that breasts have many sides and they don’t just hold a nipple. In fact, until she’s aroused, guys should avoid the nipples altogether,” says Siegel.
Try touching the undersides of the breasts, or running a tongue along the inside of the cleavage. Tease the nipple, but don’t actually touch it yet. Save those for last.“When you do actually get to the nipples, there’s a whole other level of play, and not just a perfunctory pinch or squeeze.”
Like we said before, every person is different. So a great sexual exercise is to try to discover together where both of your erogenous zones are hidden. You might discover a few you didn’t even know about.
“I like to work with couples on guiding them to discover their own and their partner’s erogenous zones,” says Dr. Emily deAyala, psychologist and certified sex therapist. “One exercise is called Sensate Focus, which helps couples move away from goal-oriented sex and move toward experiencing a sexual interaction focused on moment to moment pleasures.”
In this exercise, no genital touching is allowed for the first encounter. Each person takes turns being the giver and receiver of touch. The idea is to explore all areas, focusing on what it’s like to touch different areas of the body. It might sexually excite them to kiss the back of their partner’s knee cap, and the receiver pays attention to what feels pleasurable and sensual to them.
“I think that a lot of couples are guilty of moving straight to the genitals,” Dr. deAyala adds, “when we have these entire bodies that are full of nerve endings.”
“THIS GOES BEYOND KISSING. CONNECTING WITH YOUR PARTNER’S FACE ADDS AN ENTIRELY NEW LEVEL OF INTIMACY.”
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