Your tot is terrified of people in costume, even if they’re her favourite characters. Turn such “scary” experiences into fun memories with these tips by DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
Your tot is terrified of people in costume, even if they’re her favourite characters. Turn such “scary” experiences into fun memories with these tips by DR RICHARD C. WOOLFSON.
A day out at the mall or at the opening of a new toy store can quickly turn to tears if your toddler is terrified of people in costume, even if they’re her favourite characters like Barney and Elmo.
You expected her to have great fun. Instead, she cowers behind you, trembling and tearful.
Don’t be surprised, though, because toddlers can be afraid of anything. Some are scared to go near cats, dogs or creepy- crawlies. For others, it is the fear of experiences, such as swimming (in case she’ll drown) or climbing (she might fall).
It is also common that they are fearful of larger-than-life characters – even if they look exactly like they do on TV.
The problem is that these fears are often irrational. Most of the time, parents don’t know why their child is afraid of one thing and not another, or why their older kid is terrified of something while her younger brother doesn’t bat an eyelid.
As far as you are concerned, a life-sized Barney walking around the mall is just a man in costume, bringing joy to the shoppers.
But your little one obviously doesn’t see it that way. From her perspective, that walking and talking dinosaur in purple belongs onscreen and in books. A Barney reaching out to her is terrifying!
Here are six ways you can help to ease her anxiety:
Treat your toddler with respect
Her fear may seem trivial to you, but it is very real to her. She doesn’t behave this way just for fun, so don’t tease her for being silly. That will only make her feel worse. You know what it feels like to be afraid.
Reassure her when she is afraid
She genuinely believes that the costumed character is dangerous. She needs you to reassure her that she will be safe and that she has nothing to worry about. Keep repeating this to her in a gentle tone.
She gains emotional strength from your confidence in her. Your sympathetic and supportive hand on her shoulder will also help.
Don’t keep her away
Your little one will not learn to beat her fear if she constantly avoids what she is afraid of.
On the contrary, that strategy will make matters worse because she won’t have a chance to develop coping skills. She has to face her fear – with your backing – before she can overcome it.
Show her the similarities
Point out to your tot that the life-sized Barney she sees in the mall is the same character that she loves in her favourite book – she probably doesn’t realise that.
If you’re taking her to a meet-and-greet session, it probably helps to take the book with you. Show her the Barney picture on the page as soon as she sees the costumed character.
Persist with your support
Keep working with your young child. Be patient with her until she can approach Barney at the toy store without trying to run away.
Some fears are harder to change than others, but they can all be changed eventually. Your little one needs you to persist with your support until she copes; she needs you to believe in her.
Praise progress
With your help, your tot will eventually make progress, though this may be in very small stages. Show your delight when you see that she is less afraid than she was previously.
Each little step improves her confidence – until she eventually reaches the point where she is brave enough to hold Barney’s hand.
