The grown-up girl’s guide to making new friends.
The grown-up girl’s guide to making new friends.
In primary school, making friends was as easy as bonding over gem biscuits. But now that we’re all grown up, making new buddies seems to score 10 on the Anxiety Meter. So how can you get better at this whole friend-making deal? Personal branding strategist Harini Chari gives us the low-down.
Numbers game
So why is it that school is a breeding ground for friendship? Because you’re hanging out with people five days a week who are in the same situation as you. These days, there’s always work, but if the idea of hanging out with your colleagues on your personal time is just ick, try joining a group of like-minded people – like a sporting team or comedy improv troupe. Once you’ve identified a few prospective mates, make your move. The trick, says Harini, is to do your homework: “It is not at all weird to approach someone you want to reach out to. But you do have to ensure that you approach them with a purpose. Would you like to know more about their work? Do you have an interesting viewpoint to that person’s recent article or blog? And if you are keen to grow that relationship, do extend the conversation beyond that fi rst physical meeting.”
Opening up
When it comes to meeting your future BFF, Harini also advises us to think outside the box. Or in this case, outside the gathering at a friend-of-a-friend’s. The grocery store, the park where you walk your dog, the morning coffee line – these could all work too. “When I first moved to Helsinki, I didn’t know a soul there,” shares Harini. “A casual chat with another mum at the playground led me to my first personal branding workshop in that part of the world. I had nothing to lose from reaching out with a friendly smile. Only much to gain!”
Lose the fear factor
Yep, going out on a limb and making conversation with someone you don’t know is scary,especially if you consider that you might get a big fat no in reply. The key to overcoming that fear? “You have to remember that you are not in a beauty pageant where everyone has to like you,” says Harini. “You are not seeking to be liked by the entire world [so] you just have to be yourself. If that results in rejection, then it is very clear that the person who rejected you was never meant to be a part of your circle.”
Miss Congeniality
Don’t know how to get rid of that RBF? These tips on how to be more approachable will go a long way.
1 BE AUTHENTIC “Our sensor for anything fake is very strong and nobody wants to deal with someone who is putting on an act or trying to be someone else,” cautions Harini.
2 SHARE A PASSION Talking about something you love is an effortless way to create a more engaging persona. Harini also adds, “When you care about something strongly and share your passion, people will seek you for the value that you create for them.”
3 BE PRESENT Friendliness should be genuine, not an act that you put on for a select few. “If you want to be interesting, you have to be genuinely interested in others too,” Harini says. “Make eye contact and be present in all your interactions.”
