You have the power to change your life. So, we show you how to turn that negative state of mind into a positive one this New Year.
You have the power to change your life. So, we show you how to turn that negative state of mind into a positive one this New Year.
Never mind me, I’m in a bit of a mood.” Every now and then, those words slip out, and your sad or angry mood takes control of your day. Yet, according to the experts, you can consciously choose your mood, rather than letting it choose you.
It all starts with consciously addressing your mindset, says Kathie Donovan, author of Inspiration In Action: A Woman’s Guide To Happiness. “Yes, you can choose your mood, but you have to master your thinking or conscious mind,” she says. “We have between 35,000 and 95,000 thoughts a day and 80 per cent of them are negative. We let our thinking mind be our master, and we allow that negativity to creep in. There’s a way to snap out of it if you want to.”
Here’s how to seize those negative feelings, and turn them into something better.
WHAT TO DO WITH ANGER
Feeling hostile and angry with the world? Distressing as that may feel, you can use anger as a powerful catalyst for change, says Dr Nick Baylis, a Cambridge University lecturer. “The anger should be used to do something energetic, like going for a lunchtime jog or writing a job application. It physically makes us sick if we hold it in.
People talk themselves out of it, and it causes upset and frustration. Frustration is anger when it’s got nowhere to go.” Instead of focusing on the anger, polishing off the chocolate slice or drinking too much, get moving and brainstorm about where you ultimately see yourself, says Dr Baylis.
“If you don’t have enough money, what can you do to earn it? Start where you want to be and work your way back. Don’t dampen down the emotion, even if it’s painful. Use the energy for action.”
Try this Is someone pushing your buttons and worsening your foul mood? “Remind yourself that what’s happening is about the other person and not about you,” suggests Kathie. “Find something to love about them. You have to decide, ‘will I engage or elevate them?’ Give something back that is positive, and it will disperse whatever is coming at you.”
And this Rather than get stuck in a mood because your mind keeps cycling through negative thoughts, pen a letter to the person triggering your reaction – just don’t send it, adds leadership coach Denise Green. “It’s a way of relieving the pressure and letting your brain think of something else.”
WHAT TO DO WITH SADNESS
Whether caused by a lack of sleep, unfulfilling work, or feeling your life is temporarily on hold, sadness can be hard to shake. Instead of letting your sadness deepen, says Kathie, consider things you are grateful for. Every day, keep a gratitude diary that focuses on the bounty in your life, whether it comes from good friends, your health, a loving partner or even the funny antics of a pet. By listing down the things that give us joy, gratitude helps us take charge of our negative inner dialogue.
Try this Break out of your funk by going for a run with friends. Researchers at Japan’s Wakayama Medical University found that group jogging not only improves depressive symptoms, but helps the body manage hormonal responses to stress. Alternatively, take up a new challenging activity, like salsa dancing. “It’s a skills-not-pills mentality,” says Dr Baylis.
And this Whether you’re exercising, doing you chores or driving to work, have a special ‘positive’ playlist loaded on your smartphone or iPod, says Denise. “Put on some fast, peppy music. The effect is not going to last the whole day, but to have 45 minutes without a negative thought is pretty damn powerful.”
WHAT TO DO WITH ANXIETY
Work, day-to-day decisions, and love and money woes can all drive our stress levels through the roof, resulting in a jittery mood that is seemingly unfocused on any one problem. “Courage is the one I call on when I’m in a nervous mood,” says Kathie. “If you can’t shake your agitation, ask ‘what do I ultimately want? Is there anything I can learn from this?’ Look closely at exactly what you want and what you have to do to get there. When we focus on having courage as opposed to letting our fear run us, we’ll be fine.”
Try this Learn to breathe deeply. When stressed or anxious, our breaths become shallow, partly because we slump our shoulders. As a result, we don’t take in as much oxygen to the brain. Take two minutes to close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and draw the breath down through the diaphragm. If niggling worries pop up, don’t examine them, focus instead on your next deep breath.
"We have between 35,000 and 95,000 thoughts a day and 80 per cent of them are negative. We let our thinking mind be our master, and we allow that negativity to creep in, but there’s a way to snap out of it if you want to. "
Text: Julie Beun/Bauersyndication.com.au / Photos: 123rf.com.
