UPGRADE Your Confidence

Feeling knocked down? Build your self-esteem step by step with these expert tips.

Feeling knocked down? Build your self-esteem step by step with these expert tips.

I n the age of social media, it’s no wonder that women all over the world are facing a confidence crisis. And celebs aren’t immune either – Angelina Jolie, Emma Stone and Priyanka Chopra have all spoken openly about their low self-esteem struggles in the past. The good news is that Lisa Phillips, a confidence, life and success coach and inspirational speaker says if you follow her lessons, you can boost your confidence at any age, regardless of your past.

LESSON 1:

Work from the inside out

If you want to build confidence, you need to start from within yourself. So quit blaming your husband, parents or boss for your internal issues or past problems, and take responsibility for building up confidence yourself. If you want things to change, you need to make the changes yourself.

LESSON 2:

Talk to your inner gremlin

We all have a negative voice inside our heads – our “inner gremlin” – that says we can’t do something, or we’re not good at something else. Instead of trying to get rid of the gremlin, speak back to it in a gentle, soothing way, as if you’re talking to a small child. Keep telling yourself you can become more confident, and you will.

LESSON 3:

Expect the best

Do you ever lie awake at night worrying about worst-case scenarios? If you answered yes, then you need to start challenging the scary thoughts because most of them are based on speculation. Change your mindset to assume things will turn out well for you and chances are, they will turn out well.

LESSON 4:

Become your own cheerleader

Many people think because someone is different to them, they’re better than them, but that’s not the case. Be proud of who you are and celebrate your personality, rather than keeping it hidden and trying to fit in.

LESSON 5:

Ditch negative influences

Some people are toxic, and there’s nothing you can do to change them. So release people from your life who don’t make you feel good, and surround yourself with those who nourish you.

LESSON 6:

Quit beating yourself up

Most of us treat other people better than we treat ourselves. Stop being so hard on yourself and praise yourself instead. Self-critical thoughts will just knock your confidence, but kind words will give it a well-deserved boost.

LESSON 7:

Don’t fear

Whether you want to learn to become more assertive or take a risk, recognise you may go through a period of feeling uncomfortable with the new you. Just don’t let these fears hold you back – being apprehensive about new situations is perfectly normal.

LESSON 8:

You’re human

Give yourself a break, and recognise it’s not possible to be perfect all the time. Lighten up and learn to laugh at yourself when things go wrong!

Celebrity Confidence Copers

“Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.” – Beyoncé

“I always remind myself to be kind to myself, and to treat myself in the same gentle way that I’d want to treat a daughter. It really helps.” – Emma Stone

“When something disappointing happened, my mother would remind me not to let that become my focus. There’s still so much to be grateful for.” – Katherine Heigl