Think you’ve found your Mr Right? You may want to discuss these major issues before saying “I do”.
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● Parents, in-laws and family Conversations regarding parents are never going to be easy but they’re absolutely necessary. Before deciding to get married, make it a point to speak to your partner about everything related to external family matters.
For example, while birthday celebrations for your in-laws are mandatory to attend, would birthday celebrations and other special events for cousins, aunties and everyone else be mandatory, too? While it might seem silly at first, everyone’s family is different and may have a different dynamic from yours. Plus, for some in-laws, not showing up at family events could be a point of contention and a sign of disrespect. It’s best to check and listen to what your partner has to say.
● Finances For couples who have an income disparity with one another, talking about finances and how exactly you’ll split your pay is extremely important. Knowing just how much you’ll put aside for essential items like groceries and bills could help prevent arguments.
● Career goals Say you see yourself working in a different city like Hong Kong in the future. Would your future spouse be comfortable with that? Being able to speak about your dreams and goals can help determine the course of the relationship and how things will work out. This way, if you spring the idea of working or living in another city in the future or have a work goal that could affect the relationship, he’ll be completely aware of it.
● Children or fur children For some, having children to carry on their legacy is a life-long goal. For others, simply having pets (or fur kids) is equivalent to having human children. Whichever you choose, know that your decisions are completely valid. And does he feel the same way? Knowing this could either make or break the relationship.
● Religion Another extremely touchy subject in our conservative Asian society, religion has always and will continue to be a point of contention for many couples and their families, especially since conversion in order to marry is a requirement for some religions.
While such matters should only be between the parties involved in the relationship, pressure from families and in-laws could cause unnecessary stress and unhappiness. Whichever the case, it’s important to stay rooted in your decision as a couple and work as a team to come to a compromise or solution.