Getaway action is great for a reason – the break from reality heats things up, even if they were hot to begin with. But you can recreate that passion. In fact, there’s a science to it. Here’s how.
GENERATE SOME GOOD BUILD-UP
One key thing vacation sex has going for it is the anticipation factor, says Vanessa Marin, a San Francisco-based psychotherapist specialising in sex. Research shows that when we look forward to something, our brains release dopamine, a hormone that increases desire.
You can create the same eagerness at home just by planning for it. This means loosely deciding it’ll deﬁnitely happen tonight, then during the day, musing on the upcoming fun, fantasising, and getting excited. You develop a sense of longing that will unleash as passion in the moment.
GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME
It’s much, much easier to enjoy sex when you’re not stressed out – a fact we all know well. No problem when you’re kicking back at a beach resort or up a mountain. But at home? Where you’ve got work, chores, and bills to deal with? Not so easy.
To tame your tension, so you can relax and let go, turn off your phone. If baths are your thing, take a long one to chill out. Or maybe spend some time with your partner – talking, listening to music, or watching a movie together to decompress. When things start to heat up, you’ll both feel calmer and closer, setting the stage for greatness.
MAKE IT ALL ABOUT YOU
When you’re on holiday, pleasure is ﬁrst and foremost, which may explain why women are more likely to put their own gratiﬁcation at the top of the list when they’re away. The result: ﬁreworks! There’s no reason not to prioritise yourself at home with frequent pampering, too. Book a massage after work, or sleep in on the weekend. Little indulgences will make you feel giddy and good about yourself, and that leads to steam.
“Vacation sex is hot because you’re in a new place, and novelty is proven to create excitement,” says Amy Jo Goddard, a sexual empowerment coach and author of Woman on Fire: 9 Elements to Wake Up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power, and Sexual Intelligence. Even at home you can ﬁnd new ways to see potential: have sex on the bathroom counter, do it mid-afternoon on the couch, use a fun toy or lube. Anything that’s out of the ordinary will turn up the heat.