Even if you found 2015 a dud old time for relationships, score in the new year with her world’s exclusive survey results about what our local guys are hoping for when it comes to love. By Lee Xin Hui
Photos showbit.com & 123rf
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Those are five words that anyone in a relationship dreads hearing. But in this case, he might be right. You think you know the Singaporean man, but do you really? We thought we did, until we started meeting countless local men we no longer understood. That was when we realised we’d put our guys into a category, stuck with sweeping stereotypes and made outdated assumptions about them. This epiphany led to our Her World survey of 85 males, where we discovered that their needs and desires around love, life and themselves are changing fast. But it’s not a bad thing.
For starters, if you had asked a local guy years ago to get a facial, he probably would have recoiled in horror. These days? He’s cool about receiving compliments on his post-lunchtime-treatment glowing skin, and he might even consider getting a nice trim... down there. In relationships, the man of just a few years back may have preferred you to be a stay-athome mum once the kids arrived, but not anymore. Today, he is comfortable with letting you take on the corporate world while he holds the supporting role as a house husband – if it makes financial sense.
And interestingly, he feels less intimidated by the fact that you’re bringing home the dough. “Today’s men are increasingly viewing females as equals,” says Violet Lim, founder of local dating agency Lunch Actually. She adds: “Only until recently has the man held the role of being the ‘chaser’ and breadwinner of the family, but now he’s more open to seeing a woman outside his comfort zone – someone who has a higher education and earns more, is from a diff erent culture, or has been married before.” Here, we reveal 12 insights. Take note, and get prepped for a meeting with the new 2016 Singapore man.
1. He’s your new beauty BFF
Facials, hair-removal treatments (Boyzilian, anyone?) or aesthetic slimming treatments? Count him in. Chances are, you’ll find the Singaporean man these days has a smoother appearance than you do, with 74 per cent of guys admitting that they opt for facials, 21 per cent saying they’d consider slimming procedures, and 49 per cent opting in for hairremoval treatments. Time to up our own beauty games.
2. He’s 100% committed
Even if they knew you would never find out, 81 per cent of men said they would not consider a one-night stand because it destroys the trust in any relationship. Brownie points!
3. He’s your digital lover
A new online world means a new techno man, which in turn means a new tech-head who’s up for all things digital in bed – from sexting and Skype video sessions to digital sex toys that are Internet-enabled and can be controlled remotely. Great for long-distance relationships, we say!
4. He wants the real you
Those Instagram posts about your enviable existence may be gaining you more followers, but it may not be great for your love life. According to the survey, 22 per cent of men admitted that a woman “having many social-media followers” was more intimidating than a woman who earns more than him. So log off ... and do something more interesting instead...
5. He’s more body-conscious than ever
While we’re more than capable of taking care of ourselves, most of us still like the idea of being swept up in a nice pair of strong, manly arms. And – joy of joys – 47 per cent of Singaporean men are capable of doing just that, thanks to their once- to twice-aweek workouts.
6. He’s got clean dreams
Yes, we’re referring to grooming “down there”. Stripped bits have long been a thing, and while reports from elsewhere point to preferences changing and people opting for a more natural look (the bushy ’70s making a comeback), it hasn’t reached our shores yet. Here, 76 per cent of guys still appreciate women with a good trim below the bikini line, so keep it neat, clean and (preferably) bare for now.
7. He’s not your doormat
Still believe that dudes should be footing the bill most of the time? But 60 per cent would like to see you off er to pay on dates sometimes, and we at Her World think it’s fair, too. Want a second date? Stop insisting that he should pull out your chair, open doors and buy flowers – three dating to-dos that he finds totally passe. Sure, we love a gent – but one who works it 2016-style.
8. He’s no tall order
Leggy Victoria’s Secret models Gigi Hadid and Lily Aldridge might be on his desktop wallpaper, but when it comes to his dream partner IRL, 32 per cent of men admit that taller women intimidate them.
9. He’s your greatest fan
We know you’re fabulous and he’s totally with us on that. He’s not going to belittle you, feel insecure or get jealous of your success. In fact, the new Sing man loves the canny career woman! Sixty-four per cent would consider being a house husband if it made financial sense, and if your job requires you to relocate, 96 per cent said they would be cool moving with you. That’s what we call true love – and true modernism!
10.He likes it doggy-style
Thirty-two per cent of local lover boys voted this as their favourite sex position because of the sensations, and also because their hands are free to tease and fondle the rest of your body (win-win for everyone!). Also in the top three: the missionary and cowgirl (girl-on-top) positions. Okay, some things don’t change...
11. He’s self-assured
No more Mr Sensitive. Men now don’t need an ego trip from your compliments about his sexual prowess. What’s hot in this age? You taking control and doing the following: 1) talking dirty 2) touching yourself 3) initiating new sex positions 4) telling him exactly how you want to be pleased. FYI, it doesn’t necessarily have to be in that order.
12. He’s the consummate gentleman
Kudos to modern women who know what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it. We’re referring to those who take the lead in proposing to their significant others. But when we asked the men about marriage, most still prefer to go down on one knee and do the asking – at least that’s what 64 per cent of guys polled revealed. And if you’re still wondering about the cost of the ring he presents you with… guys agree that it should typically be one to three months’ worth of his salary.
You've have read what he wants, now where the heck do you find such a fine specimen?
Traffic junctions in the CBD. Where else would you find sexy exec types during working hours?
Gyms (especially in Raffles Place). Love a man who works out? Find a man where he works out. Tip: If you can't muster up the courage to approach him in studio, you might him at the nearby salad bar (read: major protein refuel) after the session.
Lan shops. We're telling you, these are the new place to meet millionaire-to-be techies. The e-sport (organised multiplayer video games) scene is huge these days, with international competitions that offer cash prizes of more than a million dollars, which explains the millionaire-to-be part...
On the MRT (behind the book). Are you not following @hotdudesreading on Instagram yet? Go. Check. It. Out Then get some lipstick and your EZ-link card ready.