Movies and romance novels make it seem a cinch to sync his and her orgasms. But we mere mortals will just have to keep working on our technique.
#Tip 1 He slows down
Men tend to climax faster than women, so that means “simultaneous orgasms usually require women to hurry, and men to hold back”, says Martha Lee, clinical sexologist and founder of Eros Coaching. And he’ll have to help. To maximise your pleasure, get him to stimulate your clitoris. “When you’re both ready, intensify the stimulation to trigger orgasm.” Accountant Lizzie*, 25, says this tip works for her – although she usually attributes a simultaneous orgasm to serendipity rather than serious planning.
#Tip 2 She’s in charge
“Opting for the woman-on-top position lets you set the pace,” says Martha. It also means that if he’s nearing the O-zone and you’re way behind, you can take charge and slow him down. This one gets 27-year-old retail assistant Jessica’s* vote of confidence.
#Tip 3 Bring in the reinforcements
Timing is crucial if you want to climax together. Sex toys can help with that. “Holding a vibrator over the clitoral area while he’s inside you is an eﬀective way of speeding up arousal, and helping you hit the Big O together,” says Martha.
But be sensitive to your guy. “Some men don’t like introducing something ‘mechanical’ into the bedroom, as it could make them feel inadequate,” she adds. Start with a sex toy that looks discreet and less intimidating.
#Tip 4 Ride the waves
Women are more likely than men to achieve multiple orgasms, says Martha. “After ejaculating, the penis may be hypersensitive, and further stimulation may even feel painful during this time.” Women, on the other hand, can orgasm continuously. So get your man to try to peak with you on your second, third or fourth time.
#Tip 5 Squeeze those muscles
Women who do Kegel exercises report not just stronger orgasms but a higher chance of multiple orgasms too. Start with this: 10 repetitions of “contract, hold, and release”. Do three sets every day.
*Names have been changed.