ASK JAY

I’m starting to get serious with a guy I’ve met online. Am I cheating on him if I continue to chat with other guys on dating apps? I want to be sure he’s really the one, in case I find someone better.

The roving dude in me says, of course it’s not cheating to keep on “Tindering ”. Who knows, he could be doing the same (#justsaying). Methinks what’s more worrying for you is that you think you can find someone better. Ahh.. here’s where the problem lies. While you’re developing a relationship with a guy, you’re also getting to know other guys. You’re actually developing more than one relationship at the same time, and someone could get hurt in the end. Perhaps it’s better to get serious with only one guy at a time.

I’m having a (scaled down) virtual wedding with 50 guests, and my fiance suggested that I spend under $1,000 instead of $3,000 for my gown. His reason: I’m wearing it at home and fewer people will see it. I feel shortchanged.

Use numbers, girl! Fifty guests at a virtual wedding has got to be a lot cheaper than a few hundred guests at a hotel. So you must’ve saved a bucketload of cash. Explain to your fiance about the amount of money you have saved by going virtual, and tell him that you can grab the extra cash for your dream dress.

LET’S AGREE T O DISAGREE

We’ve all been there. You’re discussing the new curtains with your partner and next thing you know, it becomes a knife fight – as if the curtains have the power to save the world. There’s the old adage: happy wife, happy life. Some guys live by this… shrugging and moving along.

But is that really a solution?

The truth is, if you apply that same mentality to a child, the child would learn that throwing a temper tantrum means he gets his way. And temper tantrums are not the best solution.

What’s really needed is understanding from both sides that you can discuss just about anything, even dreaded curtains. Disagreement helps you see another point of view. It doesn’t mean that every difference in opinion is a hill to die on. If things get really heated, chill. Walk away and put things in perspective.

The question is: What are you guys really arguing about, and what’s the point of the discussion? Discussions only become arguments when people aren’t willing to compromise. And the combo of a happy wife and miserable husband (and vice versa) ain’t healthy. So take a little, give a little – every time. Be willing to meet in the middle and hopefully, you’ll get a happy wife, happy husband, and happy life.

Have any questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at magherworld@sph.com.sg, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth.