Here's everything you need to know before hitting up the next banquet
Here's everything you need to know before hitting up the next banquet
1 Decoding the invite
V You should attend both the ceremony and reception if you are invited to both.
V If there is a wedding theme and dress code, try your best to respect them. No dress code? A garden reception generally means sundresses and sandals, while a more traditional dinner banquet usually means cocktail or formal floor-length dresses. And please don’t let your date wear jeans!
X Don’t assume you can bring someone. This means if there’s no “and partner” on your invite, you’re on your own. Given the effort the happy couple put into creating guest lists, it’s mostly not appropriate to ask either.
2 Guest etiquette
You don’t have to be the model guest, but these rules ain’t rocket science.
RSVP on time
As a guest, respect the RSVP deadline so the wedding party can confirm their numbers (most hotels need this a month before).
Don’t wear anything bride-like
It’s generally understood that wearing white to a wedding is bad form (unless the dress code says so). But this extends to wearing anything bride-like (think lace, mermaid or fulllength gowns). All-black outfits are also a no-go – it’s too sombre, especially for an Asian wedding.
Arrive on time
The only one allowed to make a late entrance is the bride. Aim to reach about 20 minutes before the ceremony starts. If you do arrive late, wait till the “I dos” are done, and see if you can slip in without calling attention to yourself.
Let the photographer through
Priority should always go to the professional photographer (after all, that’s what they’re being paid for, right?). So let them get a good shot of the couple instead of leaning towards the aisle to take a photo of the bride walking in, or rushing up the altar to photograph the first kiss.
Presents vs presence
This is relatively easy here, where money is always welcome. The general rule is cover your share. If you’re invited to one where tables cost $2,000+, just give as much as you can. For religious weddings, if there’s a meal served, the going rate is $20 to $50. If you prefer giving an actual gift, that’s fine too.
Keep it offline
Not everyone wants their wedding to be Insta-famous straight away (and that includes Instagram stories). Ask the couple’s preference for photos when it comes to social media. If they have a hashtag, tag away!
3 The hen party
4 The bride tribe
Besides planning her last night out as a single woman, your job as a bridesmaid is also about all things practical on the day, like...
Appointing a leader
It’s not necessarily the maid-of-honour, and everyone’s got different skills. Figure out who will mobilise the troops best, and let her do the job.
Being upfront
If you have concerns about practical things, like the cost of dresses or accommodation, make that known early.
Thinking ahead
Sometimes, the bride doesn’t actually know what she wants or needs on the day! That’s where awesome bridesmaids come in. Someone should always be on blotting duty, dress duty, handphone duty and also coordinating with the groom, wedding planner, band and so on. Have a kit with safety pins, tissue and mints with you at all times.
Never complaining about the dress
At least not to the bride…
Helping with enquiries on the actual day
Whether it’s directing the guests to the toilets or their seats, or fielding well-wishers away from the bridal suite, help the bride out by doubling as a coordinator.
5 Dress to impress
Wedding dress codes can be terrifying, so follow these handy tips for a no-fail outfit.
Religious ceremonies or solemnisations followed by lunch receptions
Knee-length dresses or formal separates in lighter hues are appropriate for church weddings. Sleeveless tops are OK, but avoid anything too revealing.
Dinner receptions at a restaurant or hotel
A floor-length dress or shorter cocktail dress will do nicely. For the latter, accessorise with a statement clutch, jewellery and heels to make your look more formal.
Beach or garden weddings
Skip the heavy fabrics (too hot), heels (that might sink into the sand or soil), and short dresses with light fabrics that may give rise to some embarrassing upskirt moments.
6 General wedding trivia…
Images 123RF.com Text Amanda Tan. Some prices unavailable at press time.
