What We Really Think About While Having Sex

Admit it, we’ve all been there. You’re getting hot and heavy and suddenly your thoughts fly to… your laundry. Not very sexy, but actually totally normal! It can be hard to get your head out of the mundane and everyday, even during sex, so don’t worry, you’re not alone – and it’s not necessarily a sign that anything’s wrong.

In addition to the obvious ones, our brains are our biggest sex organs and need as much love and (mental) caressing to get into the mood. But just as the brain is necessary to dream up new sexy ideas to try, it’s also responsible for just about everything else in your life. This is why it can be difficult to get out of your head and leave thoughts of laundry or work at the bedroom door. 

Blame it on a high-pressure lifestyle, but also on bad habits like bringing your computer to bed. Spending hours staring at a glowing screen before bedtime can train your brain into seeing the bed as more than just a place of rest (or one to get down and dirty in). So one important tip – the only thing that should be turned on in bed is you (and your partner, of course).

Speaking of which, it’s OK to fantasise about someone else during sex as long as it’s just that – a fantasy. Last year, a survey of 1,300 women conducted by Lovehoney, a sex toy company, showed that over 46 percent of women think about someone else during sex. But if you find yourself doing it more because you’re dissatisfied with your partner, this might be a red flag – don’t use your fantasies as a way to ignore problems in your actual relationship.

Our busy lives can make it difficult to turn off the naggy parts of our brain and turn on the good stuff, but a little meditation, relaxation and focus are great ways to start. Just try and bring it back to the moment and focus on what’s feeling good. 

“Hungry, leh.”

“Let’s repopulate Singapore together!”

“Who just messaged me? I think I heard my phone.”

“Is the aircon on?” “Hurry up, lah.”