Engagement rings might be small in size, but the debates they incite are anything but.
Engagement rings might be small in size, but the debates they incite are anything but.
As it has come to be with most things in modern times, the continued fuss around engagement rings can be illustrated via the human enigma that is Kim Kardashian. When she divorced Kris Humphries in 2011 after 72 days of marriage, the world fretted about whether she should return him the $2 million, 20-carat engagement ring he’d bought. When Kanye West proposed in 2013, everyone from The Daily Mail to Forbes dedicated precious column space to the Lorraine Schwartz sparkler he chose – after having three rings custommade for the occasion, of course. Why do engagement rings incite breathless comments from typically reticent peers? Why are men expected to buy them? Why do only women wear them? Is this still a relevant debate in 2015? As Nancy Meyers would say, it’s complicated.
THE BLING RING
While ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans are all said to have believed in the tradition of an engagement ring, the current incarnation of diamond engagement rings can be traced back to Vienna in 1477, when the Archduke Maximilian of Austria bestowed Mary of Burgundy with one upon their betrothal. The idea of diamonds as a symbol of undying love – “A diamond is forever” – came about much more recently, however, thanks to a campaign courtesy of ad agency N.W. Ayers, commissioned by De Beers in 1938 amidst falling diamond prices. As Uri Friedman reports in The Atlantic, “The folks at Ayer set out to persuade young men that diamonds (and only diamonds) were synonymous with romance... young women, in turn, had to be convinced that courtship concluded, invariably, with a diamond.” To say they were successful is an understatement.
GOING IN CIRCLES
But we live in very different times now. When “young women” can afford their own diamonds, is an engagement ring still the be-all and end-all? With feminism the hot-button issue it is these days, it seems like a curious double standard that men are expected to spend two (or more) month’s salary on a ring that simply serves as a physical declaration of commitment. A 2013 survey on wedding website The Knot’s Facebook page revealed that more couples are opting to split the cost of the engagement ring. Naturally, the news went viral, and reactions ranged from it being a scandalous break from tradition to the enlightened way forward. Ultimately, getting engaged is a step forward in a union between two people in love. If you want to buy your own engagement ring, go ahead. If you’d rather he spend less on the ring so you can spend more on your future house, knock yourselves out. After all, if there’s anything we can learn from Kimye, it’s this – it’s your engagement, and you can do what you want to.
Do the Rounds
There’s no escaping this circle of influence in pop culture
1 Beyoncé – Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)
Queen Bey’s 2008 anthem is a complex rallying cry against commitment-phobes.
2 The Lord of the Rings
A cautionary tale of what can happen when you become too obsessed with a ring.
3 Onion Rings
The true ring(s) to rule them all.
